The rhythm of my days has changed since we began fostering A. It's not unwelcome, but it's remarkable how quickly I forgot the intensity that parenting in the early days of your child's life entails. The difference this time around is I also know how temporary each stage is and how flexible you need to be as the changes come. You can also learn a lot from a two year old who insists on simply playing at her new sand table and then happily let's you push her around the block in her stroller while babbling about everything she sees.
What did we see? Many, many birds, nuthatches, bluebirds, chickadees, titmice, robins, crows, red-tailed hawks and more. We saw puppies (all dogs are puppies), the moon and lots of cars. We met many of our neighbors, also walking on a beautiful afternoon. We heard the peepers start to come alive as the sun began to set. We wanted bananas, juice, hugs and our sand table. So simple, but so helpful in keeping us both grounded in the beautiful and blessed present.
We returned and I had a lengthy phone call with my eldest, away at college, and got to check in about her day. I'm learning (Em probably wishes I would do so more quickly) to listen more and offer advice less, unless asked. I'd catch myself about to offer help or my version of a solution and the take a deep breath and instead just offer my love and understanding and it was a good lesson for me. I miss that girl like crazy though!
Watching Noah put together the sand table for A. I was amused to think that it wasn't that long ago we were assembling such things for him and for Em. Yesterday in the car he spoke to me about his philosophy of life. It was wonderful and complex and funny and insightful and thought provoking. That boy totally absorbed my decidedly quirky sense of humor.
John continues to get all the things done so that our little ship can run smoothly. I'd come up with more nautical analogies but it's late and that's another topic anyway, I'm just grateful is all.
Really, I'm just marking a little time here, how in six months we've all adapted to a toddler schedule, while respecting the high schoolers schedule and even occasionally getting naps ourselves. How I feel I've learned so much about my family and myself and that it's all good stuff and a gift. How on a grey and cranky day the laugh of my kids, either the two here or over the phone with Em can make everything ok.
And spring, wonderful spring is really here. Happy sigh.
It's hard to summarize a person in a few words after they've passed on. My friend, Mary Robison, is harder than most because she did so many interesting things with her life and as her friend John (my husband) pointed out Sunday, she lived her life illustrating the maxim that if you only work at doing what you love you will love what you do.
Mary Oliver, in her poem The Summer Day, wrote:
"Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary did not waste one moment of her wild and precious life. If she had an idea she found a way to bring it to life. If she wanted to know more about something she studied it until she basically could teach a course on the subject. If she met you she became your friend. Mary did not see anything as impossible, she saw challenges and problems that simply needed solutions and she loved, more than anything else, discovering and implementing those solutions.
Mary has been my friend for so long. When we first met we talked all day about all the things, science, medicine, the future, archaeology, theology....everything; with Mary the conversation never stopped. I'm not sure it has even now.
Mary and Jack introduced my husband, John and I to each other and then made sure we weren't too stupid to figure out we belonged together. I look at my beautiful family and know that she helped to create it just because she saw something she thought needed doing and she got it done.
Mary was brilliant. Her mind was so fascinating and once she picked up the phone to tell you about a plan: for a costume, a road trip, a new device, anything at all-you were along for the ride before you knew what hit you and it was always a wonderful time.
Mary faced her illness with courage, honesty, and a full comprehension of the challenge before her. She faced her death the same way.
My dear friend, open roads, safe journey and be at peace. I love you sweetie.
I am pasting her obituary below which touches some of the many extraordinary things she did in her far too short life.
Dr. Mary Lee (Trompke) Robison (1957 - 2014) | Visit Guest Book
SOUTH HADLEY - Mary Lee (Trompke) Robison, Ph.D., died Monday, March 24, 2014, from complications of leukemia at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.
She was born Dec. 17, 1957, in Holyoke, to Marjorie Trompke Graham and Edward Trompke.
Mary attended Granby elementary schools and graduated from Amherst Regional High School. She received her associate's degree from Holyoke Community College, in addition to a bachelor's, master's, and a doctorate from the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Mary did field work for her master's thesis at Historic Deerfield and for her doctoral dissertation at Museo Na Bolom in San Cristobal, Chiapas, Mexico.
She was formerly married to John Elder Robison of Amherst, with whom she had one son, Jack.
Mary was an inventor, building specialty electronics for rock bands including Kiss and Pink Floyd. She was a founder of the science fiction convention Arisia, where she showcased her abilities as an avid costumer and seamstress. A born educator, she was a founding member of the Western Massachusetts hacker space movement and taught at UMass Amherst, Holyoke Community College, Salter College, and the Springfield Renaissance School. She enjoyed trivia and was a successful contestant on "Who wants to be a Millionaire?" in 2005.
She is survived by her beloved son Jack Robison; her mother Marjorie Graham of Pace, Fla.; sister Karen Trompke of Pensacola, Fla.; brother Edward Trompke of Lake Oswego, Ore.; and many cousins, friends, and former students.
Mary climbed pyramids, read a library's worth of books, and was dearly loved by friends and family. She will be sorely missed.
In lieu of flowers, Mary requests contributions to the Dr. Mary L. Robison Endowment at the University of Massachusetts Amherst for graduate students in Anthropology.
A mass will be held Friday, March 28, at 10 a.m. at Our Lady Seat of Wisdom Chapel at the Newman Center, UMass Amherst, with Fr. Gary Daley officiating, followed by a reception in the Quigley Room at the same location. A private burial will be in West Cemetery, Granby. There are no calling hours.
Obituary and memorial register at www.douglassfuneral.com.
. Oh,I know. It has been a long, long, long time since I've attended to my blog and I apologize to my three readers. Last you heard Em was a happy HS graduate and summer was starting. Now it is winter and Em had a lovely first semester at college and then nearly six weeks off, home with us. This picture is her snapchat from the morning as she ate her breakfast before I took her back to college. I kind of thought I'd be ok ( I was a wreck back at the end of August when she left) this time, but while I do not need heavy medication and a therapist, I'm sadder than I thought. Turns out, having my smart,loving, hardworking and beautiful daughter home was the best holiday gift I could have. Listening to her and her brother Noah laughing while they watched endless episodes of Fairy Tails together most evenings, our silly family jokes, eating most of our dinners together, day trips, and more...I loved it all. But you know, she had an amazing first semester, she loves her college and I am so excited for her journey.
There is another thing, since I last wrote, our lives changed in a big way. I can't post pictures or go into much detail but we became foster parents to a toddler that we have known since she was born. Our home is once again filled with diapers, sippy cups, children's toys, finger paints, and looking more like a pre-school every day. It's exhausting, because small children are exhausting, but it's also a joy and a privilege and seeing my older kids take such happiness in caring for and being with the wee one is a gift. So, our nest didn't exactly empty and oddly enough no one seemed particularly surprised by this.
While I can't discuss the issues that led to our situation, I can tell you that no matter where you live there are children who need foster parents and I guarantee you that there are more of them than there are foster homes. If you've ever thought about this call your local child service organization and learn more because if you choose to do so you will find yourself with challenges sure, but also with the joys and blessings that providing a child with a loving and safe home can bring. This experience has taught me that the whole cliche, "it takes a village" is completely true, we are all connected and the more love you put out there the more comes back.
I may have inserted this upside down, but Em, my mom and I were able to spend a fun Saturday recently at the MFA. I love art museums so much and recently have not been able to go as often as I typically do (to be fair, that is still quite a bit more than most people). This visit was especially nice because I got to spend it with two of my favorite women on the planet. Em and Noah have been going to museums, often monthly or more! since they were toddlers. I think that the language of art, being able to experience it and create and just soak it up has been invaluable. I'm always surprised by the conversations we have, sometimes about the art itself, sometimes about issues the art might bring up, it doesn't matter it's always a journey I love taking. Recently we all went, along with wee one, to the Worcester Art Museum. There was one piece of art that the older kids were disturbed by and we had a great discussion about now sometimes, that unsettling feeling or even aversion is in itself part of a successful piece, bringing feelings to the surface that force us to examine mundane things in a different light. And then wee one simply squealed with delight whenever a particular painting or sculpture tickled her fancy and that is awesome too. Art saves us. It transports us beyond ourselves, beyond gravity and to a more hopeful and possible space. Art really is all possibility.
And we create and make lots of messes at home, we always have and with a toddler back in residence it's ramped up again. We all fingerprint together, or play with ooblek and play do. We mix water and sand or just stick things together. We saved a large box from the holidays and it has slowly been sprouting various found objects, crayon markes, paint, tissue and more. There is a lot of joy in these messes.
January is 3/4 over and I have already read 10 books, mostly novels, mostly fantasy. I'm reading a lovely graphic novel now, Blue is the Warmest Color by Julie Maroh and hope to finally read Dave Egger's, The Circle. I'm kind of enthralled with an urban fantasy series by Jennifer Estep ( the Elemental Assassins series) and exec till be polishing them off soon as well. Now that I can easily update from my iPad I am hoping to do a better job blogging.
I'm a little short on words this week but have pictures. John and I spent a quiet couple of days enjoying Cape Cod. We caught a movie, What Maisie Knew, which I loved and which John was on the fence about (he liked the performances but the content depressed him). I'm rereading the Henry James novel now. I studied him many years ago and forgot how much I loved his writing. We kayaked at Bass River, so were able to see Least Bitterns, Geese, Egrets, Gulls, Ducks and eels. Yeah. Little tiny baby eels. Hundreds of them. I may never sleep again. Dining included Scargo Cafe, Brewster Coffee Shop and El Guapo..old favorites. Needless to say we spend time on Brewster flats (beaches) reading, kite flying, horseshoe crab following and the like. Paine's Creek sunset. We came home to find my peonies starting to burst into full bloom and the roses as well. So, yeah, much peacefulness and rest and stuff. I'm reading Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl. I think I can just add pics now!
I still need to post about Em's High School graduation, but will wait until after her party and combine pics from all senior related events.
No pictures this time I am afraid. I'm writing on my iPad and if there is a way to insert them I haven't figured it out.
For the past couple of months I haven't felt like myself entirely. I've often been queasy after I eat, tired and about two weeks ago developed very intense back pain. I attributed most of this to any number of mundane causes and wasn't alarmed. Last Sunday morning though I woke up to very severe abdominal pain, nausea and a fever. The night before I had had a blood glucose of nearly 500 for no reason and in retrospect I'd been running hire than I should have for several days. My PCP suggested I go to the ER and we did.
Of course, I am who I am. I pulled in comfy yoga pants. I grabbed 3 novels, my kindle, several magazines and my sock knitting and iPad. I took my insulins and glucometer of course. I wore hand knit socks. I claimed I was just making sure I had stuff to amuse me during an anticipated long wait at an ER to be seen, but I think I kind of knew I was really sick.
There was no wait. I was brought directly to a room and bed in the ER and labs were taken, IV started and we knew pretty quickly that something was probably up with my pancreas and that I had an infection going. A quick cat scan (well, the scan was quick, it took a couple of hours to actually get it) later we confirmed I had pancreatitis and was being admitted.
I was in the hospital for almost 7 days. Most of it I was on IV fluids, NPO (nothing by mouth) and initially morphine for what had become the most severe pain I ever remember experiencing. My days were marked by having vitals checked every few hours, including through the night and 3am visits from the vampires who apparently collect their blood then. The staff was amazing and the doctors were surprisingly willing to actually pay attention to what I said and asked. This was a marked change ( the latter that is, the snursing and PCA staff are always great) from the last time I had to be hospitalized several years ago. This time I was allowed control of my diabetes, I just needed to keep a record for them to record.
Pancreatitis is not curable. You basically stop all eating and drinking and support the patient with IV fluids and if needed pain meds. There were other meds to counteract t the lack of food and my inactivity, but basically it's rest the pancreas. Pancreatitis is, most often, as in something like 80% of the time, caused by heavy alcohol intake. I do not drink. The second most common reason, accounting for almost all of the rest of the cases, is gallstones. I do not have a gall bladder. I had a cat scan and later in the week an MRCP (fancy MRI for pancreas) that confirmed the inflamed pancreas but did to see any blockage or stones ( which can happen) in it, despite my lack of gall bladder. At this point I had an epiphany and remembered that one of the newer medications I take, Bydureon ( a weekly injection that helps me use my I skins better in part by stimulating the pancreas), has a huge warning that a small percentage of patients develop acute pancreatitis. I informed the doctors and they agreed it is likely the culprit (although we aren't completely certain).
What's amazing is several years ago they wouldn't have listened to me at all, but this week they were eager to hear my thoughts and researched my concerns. I felt less like an object that was sick and more like an intelligent person that could be a participant in my own care.
That said, no matter now well run, hospitals are not places to heal. They are, as my husband pointed out, MASH units. The job of the hospital is to get you stable and get you out. I never slept at night there except for when on the morphine and then it was only briefly. I blew 4 IV lines, although the IV nurses there are fantastic, it's just something that happens. I really only slept when John was by my side, reading to me (The Princess Bride) and mostly warding off anyone from waking me unless they had to. I had no idea of the weather, news, etc and used skype and FaceTime to stay in touch with the kids. I brought all that reading, but until my last day or two never had the energy for more than a few sentences at a time.
I had visits from family and friends who understood when I wanted to talk and when I didn't.
In all, while I wish I wasn't sick in the first place, it's been an experience full of blessings because it highlights how much I have to be grateful for. Good health insurance of course and good doctors. Amazing family. My mom found a way to visit every day and John was with me and caring for me even while keeping the home front and kids on track. My friends jumped in and took care of my family.
Best of all, I was home in time to curl up on the couch with John and the kids and watch Doctor Who. I was able to finally get an uninterrupted nights sleep and slept until almost noon and woke to a beautiful, sunny Mother's Day, at home. There is a cardinal in the magnolia tree outside my bedroom window. My pink dogwood is blooming. I plan to sit outside for a little bit later and enjoy my garden and the glorious sunshine.
I'm lucky. Everyday I am reminded that I haven wonderful life.
I don't know why I let a couple of months go by without blogging. It's possible that with FB and Twitter and Skype I feel I say (or link to others saying) a lot of what I want to online. I know I've started to write about an issue, or post some pics or rant or rave at times and then I lose momentum. It's not as though I'm a big-time blogger with thousands of folks awaiting my every utterance. Still..I've been blogging for over a decade and it serves some sort of purpose. I don't really need to analyze it too much. I like to talk.
Another beautiful and tragic day. On our soil this time and close to home. It hurt. It still hurts. It hurts when it's elsewhere too, but when you see destruction and death and so many injured in a place you know so intimately it's a betrayal. I can't begin to tease out the many,many conflicting issues the events at the recent Boston Marathon have raised. Patton Oswalt managed to sum things up nicely the day after: "So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny,hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you and we always will.'". And we do. And we must remember to hang onto that goodness and keep spreading it around. Winter really tried to hang on forever it seemed but spring is finally here. I have tulips and the dogwood is about to bloom an the peonies are starting to rememerge. The forsythia are a shock of yellow (and I don't care how pedestrian they seem to many-we always had them at my house growing up and one of the first things I did when we moved here almost 2 decades ago was plant a row of them by the side of the house). I've planted some herbs and arugula and am thinking about tomatoes (using hydroponics and nutrients this year if I do). Mostly, I sit out back, watch the birds, read and enjoy the sun and warmth. I recently began receiving delightful story/letters in the mai: Gray Fox Epistles
Getting real letters,stories,poems and art in the mail makes me so happy. I participate in Postcrossing which is a lot of fun as well. I love social media and the interwebs, but I also love writing with pen and paper and sending it off into the world. really, it's delightful.
Oh let's see, what else has happened? John and I made a trip to western MA and MassMOCA. We had lunch at a great diner (I love the classic Worcester cars).
We stumbled over this house..which I kind of love if it were a single family:
I really enjoyed an exhibit called Painting Between the Lines, at Williams College Museum of Art. It combines my two loves: contemporary art and literature.
Anyway, speaking of art...so the school year is nearly over and suddenly the reality of my oldest heading off to college this fall is, well, real.Last year Neil Gaiman have an amazing commencement speech. In it he says, "When things get tough, this is what you should do: Make good art. I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician -- make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by a mutated boa constrictor -- make good art. IRS on your trail -- make good art. Cat exploded -- make good art. Someone on the Internet thinks what you're doing is stupid or evil or it's all been done before -- make good art.". It's so simple and so true. Whenever I've found myself paralyzed with fear, anxiety, sorrow, anger or illness, I try to do something creative because I know it will help me push on. It can be as simple as a doodle or making a collage or quilt or quietly knitting. Sometimes it's the act of digging my hands in the soil and working in the garden. I want Em and her friends to know that no matter what they can always take a breath and create something, sing, dance, paint, whatever and that creation brings a lot of healing with it. I've been sewing a lot more recently and after a dry spell have picked up my knitting again. Just doing that helped push me out of a kind of fugue state brought on by exhaustion from being unwell alot recently.
I'm a big girl. I mean that literally. I am an insulin dependent diabetic and I have arthritis and other joint issues. When I am having acute responses to that I tend to look at my overall size and blame myself and I feel like somehow, if you're the fat person, with an infection or a cold or a bad back or whatever the world just glances and thinks "well what did you expect?". I alternate between being apologetic and being defensive. When I'm defensive I point out that I typically eat less calories a day than many thin people and that I exercise more than many thin people. I don't cut out enough and I probably could exercise more, but at the end of the day I work hard at maintaining my health and ...see there I go starting to explain.
It's a trap women can fall into and a trap fat people can fall into as well. The feeling that you somehow have to justify you're situation or your words or your choices. I don't. I'm pretty assertive most days and pretty good at a fuck-you attitude but I'm human and sometimes spiral into low moments where I just shut down.
Art. In any form, revives me. It connects me to the creative and it reminds me of how cool we can be as a species and then I suddenyly find myself creating moore and exercising more and eating better and smiling more and yeah...Gaiman has a point, MAKE GOOD ART!
I need to wrap this disjointed, barely coherent post up so bring on the bullet points:
I've declared this season of poetry. I love poetry and feel it often gets short shrift in large part because in school many kids came to despise it. Poetry is meant to be experienced in the moment without the need to overthink it or analyze it to death. Lately I've been rereading Rilke before bedtime as well as the work of newer writers.
Kayaking. Soon. I hope. I really need my time on the water, which is a poetry of its own.
Stray kitty. One has more or less moved into our garage.
yeah. I'm done. Bye. I'll try to be more frequent and less discombobulated.
We had a blizzard. It's been nearly two years since we've had any significant snowfall and this was pretty impressive. 27 inches in our neck of the woods. It's lovely. The storm was well forecasted and good decisions were made by officials regarding road, public transportation, work, school and other closings. This morning John fired up the snowblower to clear the driveway (needless to say the town plows had created a berm as tall as we are at the end) and Noah helped him while Em and I walked and explored a bit. A storm like this tends to bring out two types of snow management theory: those who try to "keep up" and the rest of us who figure we'll wait until it's over to deal with it. Us lazy folks won this storm, as the high winds combined with continuing (until 9 or so this morning) snowfall erased any efforts made. Looking out my window this morning everything was covered in high snow, roads included. Folks can, if they wish, get back to driving after 4p, I plan to knit, read and stay warm.
We prepared by creating cozy nests around the house for ourselves (mine was in a corner of my bedroom, so I could watch the snowfall while reading or knitting), cooking (cranberry sauce, blondies, roast turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing etc) and generally doing the whole cocooning thing.
So, what follows are pics from the past two days. No captions. Click to enbiggen.
I had all sorts of great ideas for organizing this very belated blog entry, but as always suspect it will be somewhat scattered, not unlike my brain. 2012 was, like any year, a roller coaster...
January 2012
Near the end of 2011 I had traveled to Washington, DC for the Union for Reform Judaism's Biennial conference. Just as I left I learned that my son had mono and a particularly harsh version. I was on the phone with the school and his doctors while waiting for my flight. By January we realized he was going to be out of school for a bit (a bit ended up being until March). Winter was snowless and so for me, endless.
Our traditional New year's Eve spent at home eating appetizers, playing board games and as this picture shows, torturing guests with balloons.
New Year's Day was bittersweet. I was able to see my dear friend Matt Zimet, who had been able to come down from Vermont to visit with his old friends one last time. Matt passed away less than 3 months later from cancer. Our hearts were broken, but spending that time with him at the New Year was a blessing. I have no pictures from then of another dear friend, Akicita, who at that time was struggling to come back to us after a massive stroke at the end of November. However, today, Akicita is home with his wife and while he has challenges he is part of our lives and we are so grateful for that (he may have mobility issues, but his sense of humour remains as sharp as ever!).
Sunsets happen in January, this one in Shrewsbury.
(How Noah spent 3 months or so)
I lied. We got one or two smallish snow falls.
Yes. I made Unicorn Poop. It was a huge success.
In January I managed to get to exhibits at the ICA, MFA and Decordova. I loved that the Decordova was yarnbombed as part of it's show.
February 2012
Sunsets still a thing.
There was a lot of walking in 2012. This is at Walkup in Westboro, MA, a favorite spot.
Bilbo, a White-Faced Cockatiel stumbled into our lives. She turns out to be female, lays eggs (non-fertile as she is our only cockatiel) often and is a little crazy but we love her!
March 2012
Em choreographed an awesome flash mob Purim Shpiel at B'nai Shalom!
Matt passed away, As I mentioned and many of us journeyed to Vermont together say farewell and lend our love and support to his family. It was sad and beautiful and I was at peace knowing he had chosen his resting spot in the woods near his home in the state he loved so much. I think of Matt every time I kayak or hike, anytime I wander through nature. I have the last book he told me I "must" read and he was right..it was a wonderful book. Good-byes are hard.
Sunsets still happening.
April 2012
Em and I rode out the flu together!
Pesach was lovely. It's one of my favorite holidays. This year it coincided with John's 55th Birthday.
Family trip to MassMOCA...
followed by a visit to 8-10 colleges Em wanted to check out. Including Smith College.
MAY 2012
Em received the Star of David Award for leadership and community service from the Israel Bond Society. We were needless to say very proud! She was also inducted into the National Honor's Society as well as the National Art Honors Society. She tends to be a very busy young woman.
Junior Prom happened.
Spring in the garden was especially lush.
June 2012
Sometime in April we resumed our week end kayaking (which by summer was often daily kayaking). This is Rocky Pond. It's small but has a very large floating bog-with Pitcher Plants, Sundews and more!!! I am easily excited by some biomes.
I had a birthday in June. I'm 51. Yippee.
July-August 2012
We returned to Cape Cod for the summer. Em worked as a counselor at Cape Cod Museum of Natural History camp. Noah and Em learned to sail. We kayaked, swam, played board games, walked, enjoyed countless sunsets and fireflies and grilled most nights.
Let's see, moving on to..
September 2012
Kayaking continued closer to home. Here at Whitehall in Hopkinton. Lots of heron and hawks.
October 2012
I climbed a ladder. This might seem somewhat mundane, but the fitness and weightloss program I started in June 2012 led to my increased mobility and there I was helping build a sukkah!
Em went back to Smith for an overnight and came back more determined then ever to go there for college. She sent her early app. on November 15, on December 12 she got the best Chanukkah gift ever, her acceptance letter!!!!!!!!!
Gordo, my friend Greg's dog, was discovered to have advanced cancer. He died just before Thanksgiving after several heroic weeks of medical care at home. He was a dog that thought he was human and we miss him.
November 2012
I visit museums every month. This was from the Decordova in November.
Thanksgiving was spent with my Mom and dear friends at their beautiful new home.
December 2012
So. Now it's the year end. Chanukah happened. Christmas happened. We saw Les Mis, The Hobbit and Skyfall. There was Chinese food and my Mom's birthday celebration (known in some places as Christmas Eve). I baked many, many things and made Apple Cider Caramels. I made my weightloss goal for the end of the year. Noah entered HS and made highest honors, while still gaming daily. Em continues to do all of the things and do them well. John and I are happy enough. The 7 birds, 2 frogs and hedgehog are happy. It's been a rough ride in places but, sitting here in my warm home, fresh snow on the ground, my family close...it's all blessings.
Despite my continued attempts to deny it by wearing shorts,Ts and sandals-the cooler weather is really here and it's full on autumn. Which is lovely, of course. My roses have exerted themselves for a last push of blooms before winter and every oak tree in the grove behind the house is doing its best to dump leaves on the yard. The color at peak this year was stunning, but I love the colors now-a muted range of brown,maroon and a little yellow and deep reds as the leaves fall. Walking is easier and in an effort to step up my fitness goals and intensity I started a couch-to-5K program, which the cooler temps make much more possible. No worries! I won't be a hardcore runner, my knees and back won't allow it, but this level is good for me-I need to challenge myself a little.
I hope anyone reading this has had a chance to listen to or read a transcript of the incredibly brave and wonderful remarks Lana Wachowski gave recently. She is typically a very private person but some of themes in her (and her brother Andy's) new movie, Cloud Atlas (by the way, read the book by David Mitchell-one of the best pieces of fiction I have ever read), made her realize she could do a lot of good speaking publicly about her experiences with gender identity. If only one person, especially a younger teen or child, realizes that they are not crazy,weird or wrong for feeling "different" than the current paradigm of what "gender" is supposed to be than I think coming out so publicly while likely annoying for such a private woman, was a good thing.
I really believe, as I've mentioned before, that sexuality,gender, and more-many of the things that others might try and box us in with, are truly fluid for most of us. Life is so fleeting and to spend even a moment of it ashamed of how you feel about your own identity is so unnecessary. We all resort to easy labels sometimes because it can give others a handle on who we are, but those labels can also be a shoebox we can't climb out of. hearing Lana open up about her own story was refreshing and beautiful.
Moving briefly into the ever exciting world of politics. Sigh. In some ways I wish it were November 6 already. I've turned off the landline, filled my recycling bin with countless large pieces of glossy cardboard and watched 5 or 6 debates, none of which were really debates. My politics aren't a secret. I support Obama/Biden, Warren and McGovern. I am disgusted by the conservative right's attacks on women's health and their continued attempts to keep people of color and the poor from voting in this election. I don't think that Romney has any clue of how to be president and will run this country from the top down-the rich will stay that way and the majority of Americans will continue to have less $, less healthcare and less education. I believe that Obama and his administration will continue to grow the economy in ways that are more inclusive of all Americans and that he will continue to press for improved healthcare. I also believe Obama will protect the civil rights of all Americans, including women, including the poor and yes, including gay citizens. I'm tired of all the rhetoric though and despite promising myself daily to ignore the crazy, inevitably something pops on my radar that makes me crazy.
I am enjoying a reading bonanza these days, Shadow Unit, Jacqueline Carey's entry into the urban fantasy genre, Dark Currents, Kresely Cole's entry into YA, Poison Princess (I am assuming the explicit xxx scenes she's known for on the paranormal smut world have been toned down here), Charles Yu's, How To Live Safely in a Science Fictional World and a lot more.
This week-end a friend and I are attending a play at Cambridge's American Repetory Theater, Lily's Revenge. A recent letter informed (or possibly warned) us that it will be 5+ hours and involve nekkid people. I was bemused.
That's it for me. Nothing exciting as always.
The past few weeks have been crazy busy, but also kind of great for the most part. I'm not saying that we haven't had the annoyances of day-to-day life creep in here and there, but it's kind of a blessing that those annoyances are either fixable or things we can ignore. Perspective is a wonderful thing. I couldn't possibly write a coherent entry that details everything going on so once again it's bullet points and pictures that are not captioned but relate to the entry. Forgive me.
I love autumn, as bittersweet as it is to put the kayak to bed until spring, I love the cooler air, the bug free walking, the colors and smells and sounds of autumn. I love transitioning from grilled veggies and meats on the grill to crockpot soups and stews and roasted root vegetables. In recent weeks I've made apple pies, apple cakes, apple crisps and baked apples. I've baked bread. I knit a lot more and I love curling up under a throw with whatever I am reading. It's just a lovely, snuggly time of year.
Walking. Walking. Walking. As most of you know, I hate bugs, I am almost pathologically alarmed by most bugs and some (I'm looking (or not looking) at you arachnids!) actually send me into small panics. However, come autumn, especially after the first frost, I can walk pest free on all my favorite trails. Cold Harbor in Northboro, Mill Pond in Westboro, Mt. Greylock in the Berkshires and more. I walked over 2 miles on my favorite bike path in W. Boylston along the Wachusett Resevoir. I've watched herons and swans fly and fish. I've seen countless hawks and yesterday a chickadee landed on a small branch in front of me on Greylock, with a view of 3 states behind him. I climbed a tower. John climbed a tower twice (I left something in the car). In summer, the heat saps strength but now breathing is easier and the crisp air makes everything look so sharp and crystal clear.
John and I escaped for a day and in additon to gallivanting in the Mohawk National Forest and Berkshires, we were finally able to see the Oh Canada exhibit at MassMOCA, as well as the amazing Jerry's Map (only there for a week). Jerry's Map was simply stunning...a work in progress, quite by accident, since 1963, viewing it's current iteration in it's entirety was wonderful and we had a long chat with the artist about his methods and process which was a delight. He told us how, contrary to how the museum treats his work ( no touching, barriers etc), he walks out and grabs what he needs. He said his work was not some "precious thing" to be kept from day-to-day life and it's vagaries and mentioned that on more than one occasion a grandchild has scribbled on it with marker or crayon which he doesn't mind. It was refreshing. The Oh Canada exhibit will need a couple more visits for me to fully wrap my head around, there were so many artists represented that I am still sorting it in my head. I know I will put the catalogue on my holiday wish list. That said, my favorite piece was a small white and red yurt with a film being shown inside. The yurt was just big enough for John and I to sit in and watch this very sweet, kind of Moonrise Kingdom-esque, video with a musical soundtrack that had me smiling for a long time.
There was a family event (Bat Mitzvah), college visit for Em, school events and more. The High Holy Days happened and for once I was fairly relaxed and open to prayer for much of them.
Mary Oliver has a new book of poetry out-A Thousand Mornings. I have been forcing myself to savor it slowly. I am nearly done with Michelle Sagara's Elantra Chronicles ( 8 written as of this year) and have really enjoyed each one of these fantasy novels. I hadn't thought something new could be done with dragons, but she's done it! Once finished I hope to read Jaqueline Carey's new urban fantasy, Dark Currents and then finally read Jebediah Berry's, The Manual of Detection. In the adult ed class I take (along with my husband and son) at shul(the rabbi is teaching a class on SF/F and Judaism) David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas was mentioned-I plan to reread it (again, one of the few books I have done so with-Amercan gods by Neil Gaiman being another) before the movie is released this month as well as his equally amazing Black Swan Green.
My health continues to improve. I lose weight at a slow but steady pace and exercise almost daily, often for 1-2 hours.
I think I'm done babbling. You get the idea. Life has been good. May it be so for you too!
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