Random Meanderings at Middle Age

School days again.

As much as I hate to see the summer winding down, it's good to resume the school year routines.  Em was up and off to school before 7am (although I realized she forgot her glasses and raced over to the school with them) and Noah's bus pulled away an hour and a half later.  I'm giving myself a few minutes to be alone in the house before I head off to work myself.  Next week the routine will really kick in as my water exercise classes will resume (2X a week) and so will my 3-4 night a week trips to the Y and it's treadmills.  By mid September we should have the kinks worked out of this years "system", because every year I have a "system" and am convinced that we will avoid school related chaos and drama.

I'm continuing to enjoy the sock I'm working on-however the picture doesn't show the lace to any advantage because it's showing the wrong side and because I will block the lace and the sock at the end.  If I make it to knitting tonight it will join me there (and at any meetings I may have coming up).
Fair warning:  the rest of this post is going to be about gardening and about my garden and my feelings about it as we enter into the late summer weeks.  I plan to be brutal and remove some under performing perennials and in February or March I will be enriching and turning over the soil.  My lavender and russian sage continue to be successes and the artemis is as always very aggressive and very promiscious.  After the devastating trauma suffered from over zealous painters two summers ago, the black-eyed susans have recouped their strength and numbers and have been the mainstay of the kitchen table bouquets all month.  The cosmos are happy (though they could be fuller and hopefully the plan to boost the soil will help) and the tomatoes were ok but the chipmunks ate many of them.  That said, the Black Prince variety of heirloom tomatoes I grew this year was delicious.  Something (probably somethings) has eaten all the leaves on my shrub rose and swamp hibiscus.  The flowers are fine.  It's frustrating.  My asters are very thick and should be blooming in a week or two at which point I expect the bees currently harvesting themselves happily among the russian sage to take up residence there (and in the sedum as well).  In the back the bergamot (?) is in bloom and our new "beach" is shaping up.  the 'beach" is our reminder of the Cape and we put discarded shells and other such things there.  I plan to plant another hundred daffodil bulbs this fall and hopefully as many crocus bulbs.  A s always click on any pics to enbiggen.

Quiet week-end.

This will be another pictureless post because I've been neglecting the camera.

My Socks That Rock club yarn arrived last week and it's my favorite so far!  The color is called Flower Power and the inside of my label says "psychedelic" and that's what these colors are!!  The pattern is the first one I have been over-the-top excited about (although I like the earlier patterns I haven't been moved to actually knit them). This is a little lace-cuffed anklet called the Summer of Love Lace.  I cast on right away on Friday afternoon and am just about ready to start the heel on the first sock.  The lace cuff is adorable and I can't wait to finish and wear these.  In fact, I love this pattern so much I am thinking of using the Silkie yarn from a couple of shipments ago for another pair!

We had friends and family over for dinner tonight (another Beer Can Chicken on the grill!) which was nice and very low key (well, maybe not so much for John who was manning the grill).  The go-withs were the same as always: grilled veggies and corn (and some tabbouleh).  Our friend's daughter made some yummy oatmeal cookies which were the perfect ending.

I spent a good part of the afternoon weeding the garden, pulling up the spent annuals and tomato plants and otherwise trying to tidy things up outside.  John mowed.

So, yeah, a quiet week end.  I'm feeling a little under the weather now but looking forward to getting the kids off to a good back to school week (and back to regular working hours for me).  I should have some more information from the doctor about my tests by the end of this week. 

Um, gee, maybe even quieter than I thought.  I'm going to head on back to Miss Austen and Pride and Prejudice. 

Blue jeans and t-shirts.

I've been thinking about my life a little bit and until the other day was focusing more on all the stuff I hadn't done.  I never had and don't think I will ever have a "career".  I'm not polished, my housekeeping is somewhat lackadaisical and the  depressing litany of my falling short of expectations (although whose expectations would those  be I wonder?) goes on and on.

Yeah.  Well, I got bored with that and started thinking about the things that I (not "them") had kind of wanted to do with my life and if I look honestly at those I haven't done that badly.  I was never one of those really driven individuals with a plan for my life.  I knew I wanted to be a mother.  I knew I wanted to be able to have creativity in my life.  I knew I'd always be a compulsive reader.  I wanted a home with a enough yard to have a garden.  I knew I never, ever wanted to have to "dress up".  Looking at that list (as sad as it may seem to some) I feel pretty good.

And let me tell you, at 46 years of age I still live in jeans, a t-shirt and most days bare feet.  I knit, quilt, garden, read and most importantly raise my kids.  I suppose I should be a lot more concerned about my clear lack of ambition, but let me think.........Nope...I'm totally ok with it.

Blogs are funny things.  Not quite diaries or journals but not exactly the New York Times either.  We all get to babble on about our own lives, share our own opinions and maybe they get read, maybe not.

Here's my point for the day and it's what I believe and I admit up front that I am lucky to have the luxury to indulge my beliefs.  Enough caveats?

Stop striving for stuff you don't really want.  Stuff can be material, or it can be emotional or maybe goals, whatever it is if you don't really want it stop stressing over it.  As corny as it always sounds let the people you care about in on how much you care every day.  They need it.  You need it.  Remember "Just Say No!" ?  It works great in other contexts.  I'm learning to back off from obligations that take away from my family and what's truly important in my life.  I'm even learning not to feel too guilty about it! 

All I wanted was family, a creative and intellectual life, a garden and to never have to wear something other than jeans and a t-shirt.  It's what I've got.  As my daughter likes to say "yay me!" (clap hands).

"Every year I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing, and which shirking pain, misses happiness as well. No one ever yet was the poorer in the long run for having once in a lifetime "let out all the length of all the reins."--Mary Cholomondeley

It's meme time.

In this case 10 quotes I would hope those who know me would recognize.  Of course, I'm a little strange so it's possible I may be the only person on the planet who has this list.

1. You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday.
2. So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have be overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty...
3. He comes from a secret place, far below the city streets, hiding his face from strangers, safe from hate and harm.
4. So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?
5. There is a similarity, if I may be permitted an excursion into tenuous metaphor, between the feel of a chilly breeze and the feel of a knife's blade, as either is laid across the back of the neck. I can call up memories of both, if I work at it. The chilly breeze is invariably going to be the more pleasant memory.
6. My thinking is usually pretty good, but I always seem to do it after I do my talking--by which time I've generally destroyed all basis for further conversation.
7.  There are many Beths in the world, shy and quiet, sitting in corners till needed, and living for others so cheerfully that no one sees the sacrifices till the little cricket on the hearth stops chirping, and the sweet, sunshiny presence vanishes, leaving silence and shadow behind.
8. I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say, okay?
9. A little citrus. Maybe some strawberry. Mmm. Passion fruit, mmm, and, oh, there's just like the faintest soupçon of like, uh, asparagus, and, there's a, just a flutter of, like a, like a nutty Edam cheese.
10. Love as thou wilt.

Week End Randomness.

1. No pictures.  I haven't had the time or energy to unearth the camera and then upload and post and blog and well, anyway, no pictures.
2. Knitting.  I have nearly finished another old project.  This is the Baby Kimono from Mason-Dixon Knitting that I started over a year ago using Kareoke in a nice vibrant rainbow hue.  The knitting is finished and I'll finish sewing the seams tomorrow.  I have a couple of ideas for the ribbon ties and will then tuck it away for the next time I need a newborn gift.  It's a fun knit and actually a quick one if you don't tossi t to the side and forget you have it.
3. I was in Lowell on Saturday.  I stopped at the Classic Elite's warehouse shop and may have enhanced the stash a teensy bit.  I picked up enough enough Flash (unmarked skeins at $2  a skein.  One set in a greeny teal and the other a variegated purple/yellow/green) to make two sweaters for my niece and nephew and some mustard colored camel/wool blend that I think was called Caravan (also at $2 a skein).  That last will be a nice cabled hat for winter for someone.
4. Medical update.  The surgeon confirmed that it is indeed likely I have an incisional hernia where I had my original hystectomy.  It will likely need surgery and the question is laproscopic or not and when?  I'm getting a cat scan this week and then will meet with the surgeon again to answer those questions.  I'm mostly trying not to dwell on this too much until I know.
5. I am reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, it's been awhile since I visited with Miss Bennet and Mr. Darcy and after reading Shannon Hale's, Austenland I had the urge. It's perfect for the unsettled mood I've been in lately.
6. Em and I are in the process of watching the first two seasons of Beauty and the Beast, one of my favorite TV shows ever.  Except the last season.  That was awful.  Best we pretend it never happened.
7. Good Night.  I hope I can be more entertaining soon.

Late Summer Musings...

Despite some discomfort, I felt well enough to take a walk  at a local wildflower garden with my family.  We saw many, turtles, frogs and dragonflies and amazing flowers and plants.  Em was visited by a stunning red dragonfly who hung around for a bit.
I think that by Sunday the reality of needing more surgery settled in and I was starting to freak a little bit.  A walk in the woods was the right antidote. 

Fiber(like) content in a randomly dull way.

I finished the Shadow Box socks from Betsy Lee McCarthy's, Knit Socks!.  I look forward to wearing them as the weather turns from summer to Autumn (which is what tonight felt like).  Once again this is a project from the stash that I kick myself for not finishing sooner.  Worsted weight socks knit up so quickly, the pattern is cute and easy to learn and yet somehow they got tossed to the side.  Silly me.  I'm hoping to make a couple more pairs of worsted weight socks from stuff in the stash because they are so great to wear with clogs.  I think the next pair will be Best Foot Forward from the same book.
I've started my swatch for Secret of Chrysopolis, using Knit Picks' Shadow in Vineyard.  I'm looking forward to this and it appears I may be getting a little more knitting time than usual.  In 2001, I had a total hysterectomy (which went very well at the time).  I've been feeling uncomfortable lately and the past week very much , so much pain that I went to see the doc and I appear to have a hernia near the incision area for the hyst.  The fix is surgery and I meet with the surgeon next week to confirm this and schedule the procedure (I'm hoping it can be laprosopic so that the recovery time will be quick).  what I've discovered is laying down with support will help the hernia kind of calm down but once I start moving about my  day to day business it begins to bother me more and more.  Today wasn't too bad because I slept in and took a nap but my guess is I'll be resting more than usual so hopefuly I'll get more knitting done and put the down time to good use.

Many moons ago I started this cross (and other) stitch design.  It's a dragon reading a book and I loved it then and still love it.  However, as knitting took up more of my available crafting time and then spinning and quilting the rest the needlework fell to the wayside.  I am determined to finish this before the end of 2007.  It's an adorable design and I want to hang it in my bedroom because it will make me smile. 

The new Tofutsie sock club yarn arrived along with a cute pattern (called Summer Daze) and perhaps that will get knit soon too.  I'm not sure though because now that I am on Raverly (!!) and am inputting my stash and WIPs-I have a renewed sense of responsibility to the unfinished projects and to planning and finishing a few more things.  I'm still a process girl but I think it'd be nice to finish some things and feel less scattered and frazzled.

We all went to see Stardust tonight  and it was lovely, just faithful enough to the book (I usually feel that slavish devotion to text does not always a good movie make) and I really enjoyed it.  I finished rereading the book this afternoon and did not feel as though the movie slighted the book, even as it made some necessary departures.  I got a kick out of DeNiro and the dead brothers were a hoot.

I'm a little bummed about not getting back to the Cape soon.  I am hoping we can still spend Labor Day week end there, but if I have this surgery sooner (which probably makes sense) that seems unlikely.  We'll go when we can and in the meantime have plenty of pictures and memories to sustain us.

"...for whatever we lose (like a you or a me)

    it's always ourselves we find in the sea."-e.e. cummings

Random Thrill.

A friend and I went to see Stephanie Pearl McPhee (aka The Yarn Harlot) in Burlington, Ma Thursday night.  she was as smart and funny as always and coped well with the sudden onslaught of panties tossed at her. I was thrilled to see my tiny little face in the crowd of one of the pictures she posted on her own blog.

She spoke quite a bit about the folks who tend to devalue knitters and knitting (I believe the acronym she chose was C.H.O.K.E.)  and while she made the point in hilarious fashion it's quite true that non-knitter not only don't get "it" but tend to be pretty condescending as a rule-even when they beg you for hand-knit wool socks.  I was working on my own pair of socks, Shadow Box from  Knit Socks!.  It's worsted weight and being knit with Cascade 220 in a lovely mustard shade.  They're nearly done.  This might be more impressive if I had started them a little more recently than 2005.

Yes, the  cataloging of the stash and the WIP continue (albeit with a brief break as we spent the week end on Cape Cod).  I laughed at the talk Stephanie gave when she mentioned how non Knitters make many assumptions about knitters including the assumption that they are not "technical".  This is funny on many levels, but it was especially amusing to a woman who had spent the entire day inputting her yarn stash and works in  progress into Excel spreadsheets.  I am about 3/4 of the way through and hope to be done by tomorrow. There are now only 475 people ahead of me in line at Ravelry so I am hoping to get on in a week or two.  Then I can show my stash to the world.  judging from what I've seen so far I will end up feeling very good about my "restraint".  This is one of the great benefits of an online community of like minded folk, there are so many who are much so further down the addiction road in stash building that one feels almost virtuous.

Quickly skipping over to our week end on the Cape, we spent all of our beach time at Paine's Creek beach in Brewster.  I floated on my back for over an hour Friday afternoon as the tide gently took me out to sea (or tried to).  Em skim boarded and Noah mostly either caught crabs with John or floated with me.  This beach is probably one of our favorites on the Cape.

This picture of Paine's Creek is from a few weeks ago (the kids are Em and Noah with their cousins) and you'll see that the tide was out.  when the tide is in it's a big swimming pool and the grasses are not even visible.  We like to come at high tide and then get the benefit of both the "swimming pool" and then the joy of discovering the many sandbars and tidal pools unveiled as the tide goes out. 

Honestly, yesterday I just sat in my chair and read while John and the kids got wet.  It was delightful.

"In summer, the song sings itself."-william carlos williams

Random organization.

Like so many others I am eagerly awaiting my invite to Ravelry. I am currently #8155 in line with 610 people ahead of me and 14,034 people behind.  I can't wait.  In preparation, I have decided to organize the stash, frog unwanted WIPS and catalogue the WIP I want to finish.  I've started 2 excel spreadsheets and this will make entering the stash on Ravelry easier when I get invited ( I guess I should be taking pictures too, but first things first).  I'm looking forward to being able to carry a hard copy of the stash with me so that I know what I have if I see a pattern that appeals to me or the like.  The frogging is essential for my sanity because while it appears that I have many WIPs, I really only have a few, most things I have stopped working on are because I hated it, the gauge was wrong or some other problem and they just sit there staring reproachfully at me. 

This is all part of my hope to organize the CraftRoom-formerly-known-as-the-DiningRoom so that everything I need is neatly in it's place and easily accessible.  It's hard to work on something when you have to search, rearrange  furniture, etc. for 2 hours first.

The downside of this is the look of shock on my family's face as they see the stash being catalogued.  Even the kids are muttering that I don't need anymore yarn.  It's a conspiracy. 

I am having a problem with the bandless skeins and half skeins I'm finding.  For now I plan to  bag those separately.

Anyway, it's pretty therapeutic and also somewhat alarming working on this.  I'm finding more needles, tape measures and other sundries which is good, but I'm really baffled by some of my yarn purchases.  And-ahem-there really is a great amount of sock yarn.  I'm just saying...

In other knitting news I felt left out of the whole Mystery Stole thing (although there is no way I would have had time to knit lace on the Cape) and so have joined The Secret of Chrysopolis which starts the end of September.  I don't work on Mondays or Fridays so figure I can work on lace while the kids are in school.  I plan to use Knitpick's Shadow laceweight in the Vineyard Heather colorway.  According to our (many) friends at wikipedia Chrysopolis was where the last battle took place before Constantine became the sole emperor of pretty much everywhere (as far as he was concerned).  I'll be knitting up the swatch soon and who knows?-maybe I'll get over my fear and loathing of blocking lace.

Tonight I plan to see the Yarn Harlot (aka Stephanie Pearl McPhee) in Burlington.  I'll probably bring a WIP I unearthed while cataloging.  It's a worsted weight sock, the pattern is Shadowbox and the yarn is a mustard color of Cascade 220.  I'm a heel and foot away from finishing the second sock and these will be great boot/clog socks in the fall so I pushed it back to the top of the queue.