Random Meanderings at Middle Age

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I have ressurrected the book blog.  I know better than to think I will review or record every book I read this year, but I am curious as to the number and type of books I end up reading in 2009 so I will try.  It can be found here  Amysue's Read-o-Rama!.

Who Is a Jew? Court Ruling in Britain Raises Question - NYTimes.com

So little does observance matter, in fact, that “having a ham sandwich on the afternoon of Yom Kippur doesn’t make you less Jewish,” Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet, chairman of the Rabbinical Council of the United Synagogue, said recently.

via www.nytimes.com

I think that line quoted above, from an Orthodox rabbi, sums up a lot of my issues with that movement in a nutshell.

No offense to my Orthodox friends but to deny an observant child his/her place in Judaism is not exactly going to help with the continuation of the faith.

unbelievably lazy saturday.

No really. In the annals of lazy this was one incredibly lazy Saturday. Well, for me.  I slept in. I then slept in some more.  Em had 2 hours of dance and Noah helped John get all the Halloween decorations down and then they hacked up a huge shrub from the front that has been slowly dying the past couple of years. This year some wasps made a huge beachball sized next in it which was really creepy to look at once they finished the first part of shrub dismantling (next up cutting through the the rest and pulling it out.  after that it's my job to amend the soil and in the spring make that a water feature and plant irises and other things around it).

I am allergic to most of the stinging things like bees, hornets etc. so looking so closely at their handiwork both fascinates and repulses me. Noah and I had a picnic lunch in my room and finally got around to playing a really great boardgame we've had for a year but not opened, Pandemic. It's a cooperative game for 2-4 players, which means you have to be able to work with the other players to devise strategies to save the world from 4 different epidemics that are spreading across the planet.  The rules and set up appear a little daunting at first but once you dive in and play it's great fun.  The planet had no chance our first go round and we were so close to saving the planet the second time but sadly a particularly virulent outbreak in South America spread to North America and that was that.  I'm looking forward to teaching this to John and Em so we can play with 4 players and see if that gives us a chance! We play a lot of board games here, but will sometimes forget to for awhile and then when we start up again it's so much fun and I wonder why we stopped. I think I'll need to get one of the Pandemic expansion sets this holiday season and maybe get some friends to play as well. The only other excitement today was a walk with Em around the block. We were stalked by a kitty. Also I got her to go down the slide for me for old times sake.
It'll be a boring and quiet night tonight and then work and hopefully a longer walk tomorrow-maybe to some waterfalls not to far away I read about. Have a wonderful lazy week-end everyone!

random thoughts on being jewish...

     I just finished reading Michael Chabon's Manhood for Amateurs (subtitled: The pleasures and regrets of a husband, father and son).  As with all his writing, I enjoyed it very much.  He grew up in the same time I did, is Jewish and so, his essays often contain landmarks or ideas that resonate deeply with me.  We had a discussion during services last Friday night on the topic, Why be Jewish?  It was our joint service with the Conservative synagogue in town, something we do every year.  Each Rabbi spoke first and then opened things up to the congregations to add their thoughts.  I will not be able to do justice to either Rabbis' premises, but the basic gist seemed to be that for some being Jewish is a matter of sociology (like being Irish) and for others it's a matter of theology and that for most Jews, especially those in the Reform and Conservative movements talking about God is really, really uncomfortable.

     What's this have to do with Chabon?  Well, in one of the last essays in the book he says "I am a liberal, agnostic, empiricist, proud to be a semi-observant, bacon-eating Jew and I have only contempt for the intolerance, ignorance, anti-intellectualism, self-deception, implicit violence, and misogyny that underlies religious fundamentalism of every flavor, from bearded to clean-cut." I don't know but to me that sentence embodies where many of my fellow Jews and certainly I often find myself standing.  I was born Jewish.  It's something I take for granted, although I when I was a child I would get scared that it might not be true and I might not "really" be Jewish and therefore not accepted by my own people.  I was adopted as an infant and in theory my biological maternal parent was Jewish but I would still wake up scared that I wasn't really and this led to many years that I felt I couldn't fully participate in Jewish life without being a fraud.  I had completely forgotten about this until our rabbi spoke about moving away from a sociological reason for being Jewish and moving towards a theological reason.  I can get behind that 100%.  I am a Jew because Judaism embodies the ideals and beliefs that speak to me as a human being trying to live in a contemporary and often scary universe.  I actively chose to be part of the Reform movement because I believe in the necessity of my faith to be an organic thing, open to change and adaptation to the realities of the world we live in. I don't believe that I am any less Jewish even if my family was lied to about my origins and I don't believe my children are any less Jewish because they were born and adopted in other countries and therefor don't "look" Jewish and I don't believe that my somewhat agnostic husband, who chose Judaism after careful thought and study is any less Jewish than any other Jew.  

     And yet.  It would be naive to ignore the reality that many Jews would not consider us "Jewish enough" and that it hurts to know those thoughts are out there (and I would add that it would also be naive to believe that the only Jews who feel that way are strictly observant-there are plenty of liberal Jews who have institutionalized antipathy towards those they see as less authentically Jewish).  And yet. I have it over my husband and others who were not raised in Jewish homes because I am comfortable with all the...for lack of a better word...stuff.  The holidays.  The foods.  The expectations.  The ebb and flow of a Shabbat service.  The etiquette at a Shiva minyan.  All of these things come naturally without a lot of thought (they do for my children as well-they may be Chinese and Cambodian American but they have been Jewish and part of a Jewish home for all their remembered lives).  I have been to Israel once and yet I miss it terribly. My husband has no interest in going to Israel and is baffled by the emphasis placed on it and what sometimes seems like a lack of accountability for some of Israel's actions.  A concern I share while also fetishsizing the country as though it were a picture perfect postcard of an idealic Jewish life.

And yet.  Even within our Reform congregations there is (and should be) a huge amount of theological diversity.  I grew up in a time when woman never wore kippot or tallitot.  I would try to do one or the other and feel really, really silly.  In time I have become comfortable with wearing a head covering on Shabbat during services but I am not consistent in that practice.  This year (that is 5770) I actively decided to take on the obligation of wearing a tallit whenever I am at services and Torah is being read.  This was a huge step for me.  It took me almost 5 years of thinking about this.  Thinking about why I'd want to do this.  Getting over my fear of seeming silly or pretentious when I do so.  I finally just shut off all the internal noise and asked myself: Why?  Why would I do this?  What would it mean?  I realized it meant an obvious thing and a more secret thing that I wasn't admitting to myself.  The obvious thing was simply that  by wearing a tallit I was able to to honor the ritual and sacredness of reading from the Torah and also able to focus my prayer and thoughts in a more meaningful way.  I was connecting myself to our people and more importantly to our Torah in doing so.  The unspoken or for a long time unthought, unadmitted, part?  Simply that I can.  I am a Jew.  More to the point, I am a "real" Jew and if this ritual is one that I believe has importance and meaning in my life I have every right to wear a tallit and do so without shame or feeling like I was playing dress-up.  It was something of a shock to me to realize I just always believed I didn't really have the right-not because I was part of the Reform movement, not because I was a woman, but because I was still a child waking up in the middle of the night scared I wasn't really Jewish.

     My Judaism isn't about a free pass I got because of an accident of birth.  It's about being an active participant in a living, breathing faith that espouses the values I most wish to emulate.  My Judaism is a reflection on my relationship to the faith but it is not the only way to get there.  I accept that for every Jew, certainly every Jew within my own community, there are different paths to the same place -that place of being a Jew, even a "liberal,agnostic..semi-observant bacon-eating Jew."  All those paths are authentic, all those paths are part of an organic whole and we are all "real" Jews.

Hist. Wist.*

hist whist
little ghostthings
tip-toe
twinkle-toe 

little twitchy witches and tingling goblins

 hob-a-nob hob-a-nob 

little hoppy happy toad in tweeds tweeds

 little itchy mousies with scuttling eyes rustle and run and

 hidehidehide whisk

whisk look out for the old woman with the wart on her nose what she’ll do to yer nobody knows for she knows the devil ooch the devil ouch the devil ach the great

green dancing 

devil devil devil devil

 wheeEEE

 

*e.e. cummings

It was a fun Halloween.  Windy.  No pirates this year but MichaelJackson stopped by.  Em was an Urban Fairy.  Noah a Yeti.  I was Mother Nature and John was Renn Faire Guy. Em had fun with a large crew of friends to trick or treat with.

re-entry.

     It really was pretty awful-that whole H1N1 flu thing.  I'm not 100% yet (laughing will totally send me into a really embarrassing coughing fit!) but I feel so much better that it hardly matters!  I'm back to work, back to doing the household and parenting stuff and, hopefully, back to crafting!

     I've been wanting to take a quilting class at a local shop I reallly love,The Quilted Crow  and signed up for a really interesting looking one, Pinwheels on a Dime (pattern from Whistlepig Creek Productions).

It's been so long since I've done any real quilting or learned any new techniques and I miss it. I still haven't even finished piecing the top to Em's Bat Mitzva (remember-March 2008?) quilt (more on this later). With this I will learn some need 3-D effects with the center pin wheels and also how to cover buttons with fabric to coordinate the look.  

     I was up and into work before 7a this morning, got all caught up (Go me!), had a meeting and did the grocery shopping all before lunch time soooooo...to reward myself I went out to the Quilted Crow to pick my fabrics and get the pattern and my "homework".  I'm going to be hanging this quilt over my bed so wanted soft colors with a very 19th century feel to them.  Needless to say this meant I went MODA all the way!

     I chose the scrappy part first and went with 4 charmpacks (yeah for not having to cut 168 5x5 squares myself!) in the Old Primrose Inn colorway.

I chose a lovely red/brown soloif for the sashing and for the borders and background I went with a fabric from Andover Fabrics called Stafford County:  I think these fabrics are going to make a really charming and yummy quilt and I'm inordinately excited. 

However. That  quilt for Em from the signed pieces I had people do at her Bat Mitzvah-I really want to give it to her for Channukah this year so I made a deal with myself.  I will piece the top for it in my spare time (hee!) over the next 2 weeks and finish this top in class or with in a day or 2 of it AND then I will have it quilted in time for the holidays.  I have already booked a place in line with the quilters so I have to do this and I may even piece a quilt for my mom in time.  I'm so, so, so excited!  

     Of course, this reminds me there's 2 baby quilts that need to be made and some other projects sitting around and my knitting and.........but right now I am mostly gazing at and fondling my new fabric.

So yeah-it's cool to be feeling better.  I made an apple pie when I got home with the remaining apples we picked a few weeks ago.  In the oven now is a yummy Shabbat dinner of baked chicken w/ onions,potatoes, garlic and thyme.  On Sunday I plan to make red wine braised beef brisket with rainbow cous-cous.  Tomorrow is Halloween of course and there's some pumpkins to be carved, some more webbing to be employed outdoors and Em and Noah have a bunch of friends (thankfully with some adults for us!) coming over to hang out and trick or treat.  That meal is all finger food and pizza, mulled cider and some fun desserts.  Monday will be a recuperating day AND a quilting day-feel free to bug me about it!!

Shabbat Shalom!

An Epidemic of Fear: How Panicked Parents Skipping Shots Endangers Us All | Magazine

To hear his enemies talk, you might think Paul Offit is the most hated man in America. A pediatrician in Philadelphia, he is the coinventor of a rotavirus vaccine that could save tens of thousands of lives every year. Yet environmental activist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. slams Offit as a “biostitute” who whores for the pharmaceutical industry. Actor Jim Carrey calls him a profiteer and distills the doctor’s attitude toward childhood vaccination down to this chilling mantra: “Grab ‘em and stab ‘em.” Recently, Carrey and his girlfriend, Jenny McCarthy, went on CNN’s Larry King Live and singled out Offit’s vaccine, RotaTeq, as one of many unnecessary vaccines, all administered, they said, for just one reason: “Greed.”

via www.wired.com

Salute All Cars, Kids. It’s a Rule in China. - NYTimes.com

HUANGPING, China — All the students at Luolang Elementary School, a yellow-and-orange concrete structure off a winding mountain road in southern China, know the key rules: Do not run in the halls. Take your seat before the bell rings. Raise your hand to ask a question.

via www.nytimes.com

H1N1?!

     I seem to be a statistic and the consensus is that I have the H1N1 virus.  Whatever I have it came on suddenly and hit me like a ton of bricks.  I still have a fever so will not be able to work tomorrow and I missed the window for Tamaflu (although I had some concerns about it's side effects anyway).  Mainly?  I sleep, read, hang out online and drink lots and lots of water.  Eventually, I'll be well.

     I listed some of the stuff I was reading yesterday and more arrived today:

• Knitting a Kiss in Every Stitch (Nicky Epstein): I'm holding off looking through every page until I am so miserable I need a pick-me-up, but the projects I can see on the cover look like wonderful and fun holiday gift knitting!
• When You Were a Tadpole and I Was a Fish and  other speculations about this and that (Martin Gardner): I just read the first essay: Anne Coulter Takes on Darwin and loved how he politely but firmly skewers here and her insane ramblings.  This will be perfect sickbed reading, small bits of intelligent and insightful writing to distract me and make me think!
• Manhood for Amateurs:The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father and Son (Michael Chabon): Can't wait to read this collection of essays-I love everything he writes fiction and non-fiction.

I started Stieg Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and am having a little trouble getting drawn in.  I'm making allowances for how awful I'm feeling and will give it another hundred pages.  I am intrigued by the female protagonist.  My new Smithsonian arrived and has a Pico Iyer article on Alaska which I know I'll love (I still remember our trip to Alaska in 2006 with much fondness!)  The cover shows a beautiful and intensely blue piece of glacier-just as I remember it! 

It's weird, I'm such a talker, but can't speak more than a sentence or two with out getting way too short of breath so I mostly am AIMing people when I'm online or texting my family members (!).  I tried to tink back on my Pretty Thing cowl and am ready to restart row 11 but find it too exhausting to knit.

  I know that this is just a virus, however much the news about it has been dire and that in a few days I'll be back to myself, but it's really amazing how fast I got taken down by this.  I have no energy, very little appetite and ache everywhere which makes it hard for me to focus at all (this may be why reading a novel is a little hard right now).

     Oh!  John brought me a basket of flowers for my room which makes me smile (I am a sucker for flowers) and the kids have been really sweet.  They put on a mask, run to the doorway of my room and "air hug" me and then run out!  

     Yeah-I know this is rambling even for me.  Basically I'm sick.  I'll get better at some point.  IN the meantime I mostly sleep, drink H20 and read.

"Evolution," by Langdon Smith

When you were a tadpole and I was a fish In the Paleozoic time, And side by side on the ebbing tide We sprawled through the ooze and slime, Or skittered with many a caudal flip Through the depths of the Cambrian fen, My heart was rife with the joy of life, For I loved you even then. Mindless we lived and mindless we loved And mindless at last we died; And deep in the rift of the Caradoc drift We slumbered side by side. The world turned on in the lathe of time, The hot lands heaved amain, Till we caught our breath from the womb of death And crept into light again. We were amphibians, scaled and tailed, And drab as a dead man's hand; We coiled at ease 'neath the dripping trees Or trailed through the mud and sand. Croaking and blind, with our three-clawed feet, Writing a language dumb, With never a spark in the empty dark To hint at a life to come.

via www.whoopis.com

Art Review - 'Art of the Samurai' - Way of the Artful Warriors, at the Metropolitan Museum - NYTimes.com

For the Japanese samurai, dying well was the best revenge. This elite warrior class began to play a central role in Japan’s history and culture around the eighth century and in time evolved into the country’s ruling caste. Highly cultivated in arts like poetry, monochrome ink painting and the tea ceremony, this class adhered to a strict code of honor built around loyalty, self-discipline, obligation and the shame of failure. Its most unbending principle was that a samurai’s death should bring honor to his family and descendants and to the emperor or clan he served.

via www.nytimes.com

This looks wonderful-wish I could go.